surreptitiouspanic's Journals on Buzznet

tehehe, buzznet @reply

surreptitiouspanic — 2009-02-24T13:14:00Z

We also had someone sing us a little hello in the key of A minor:

im musicalninja <3

NEW SITE

surreptitiouspanic — 2009-01-07T21:04:00Z

mmk, so ive been on here since FOE started, damn, im old. anyway, i decided that since everything else ive been doing lately was under the name "musicalninja" then i should make a buzznet/foe for that name.

so dear buzznet friends, would you do the kindness of adding me over at that name too?! i know weve grown to know eachother over the years and altho i dont post as often as i would like on here, im going to try to figure out how to import my blog from blogspot & my twitter on my new page to make it easier.

love you all

Follow me!

surreptitiouspanic — 2008-09-26T13:48:00Z

hello there my dear buzznet friends!!

i know i havent been posting much latley, seeing as how my personal life has had some major ups and minor downs recently. hopefully college will give me some more free time.

but if you want to get some updates on me there are some easy ways.

http://www.myspace.com/myharlequinheart

http://twitter.com/musicalninja

http://soundtrack.mtv.com/profile/CrazyNinjaChick

talk to you all soon!!!

Behind the Eight Ball

surreptitiouspanic — 2008-04-10T09:24:00Z

He laid there, trying not to move. Hoping she didn't notice that he had been gone. He blinked sweat out of his eyes. The window was cracked open letting in a gentle breeze, swirling through the bedroom. She nestled her head into his bare chest. Could she hear how fast his heart was beating? It wasn't much faster than how it usually was whenever she touched his skin.

But now was different.

He finally began to control his breathing, his chest rising and falling slower and at a more steady pace. She moved her hand up his arm. Would she feel how hot his skin was? She was cold as marble to him.
The sun began to rise. He struggled to keep his eyes closed. She wasn't awake yet, and he didn't look forward to having to come clean.

Clean.

He didn't even want to be there, but it was his deplorable job.

Once again.

Eyes shut, he saw the night flash before him. The smell of the gun powder, still alive in his nose, hardly covered up the smell of the fish and sea spray.

It was necessary to bump him off, the guys told him when they met up in the smoky and dim pool hall. "I mean, you know this already. You mess with the Boss and get on his bad side, you can't be helped." The voice echoed in his memory, muffling the shots that were fired.
Then things got out of hand quickly. A stool-pigeon, watching nearby, sent for some coppers.

run

Run

RUN

Get Out Of Here!

He opened his eyes to the blue hazy light of dawn, pouring in through the dirty window. The L line train clattered a few blocks away. His black cloth fedora hung on the bedpost, the shadow cast made it look like there was someone standing there. His wing-tipped shoes, caked with cement, were sitting dejected in the corner. He had managed to wash the sticky dried blood off of his hands before he laid down.

When the hellish event he had participated in had ended, he ran back towards the city from the rundown part of town they were just in. He was nearing the area where he first met his love a year or so ago. She stood against the wall with sad eyes and sadder clothes in his memory, offering love or dancing to men in the dance hall. He passed by the same hall, hoping no one had seen him. He slid into the shadows as a policeman made his rounds in his car, the headlights piercing the darkness like two diamond studs. The cop ducked into a speakeasy that he was on the payroll for and loud jazz flowed as full as the booze as the door opened. He continued on home once the coast was clear. The candy-striped barber’s pole hung crooked, the last piece of a memory of a good childhood. He knew he was almost home.

Almost Safe.

But never free from fate.

Things would have to change, but he couldn't figure how.

He snapped back to reality when she shifted off of him and turned over to face him. Her calm and loving cornflower eyes met his sorrowful hazelnut ones. He at least managed to cover his frantic fear and worries. Her eyes searched over his pale alabaster face.

"I dreamt you and the boys went down to the docks. You'se guys met a man and filled 'im with daylight*."

She smiled. "But I know you don't do that anymore."

"Don't worry about it doll." he tousled her still wavy umber hair. "It was just a dream." He smiled back. It was a smile between the one that made her melt and the one that let her know she's safe with him.

"I know." She moved back into his arms.

He always wanted her to feel safe. He would, and already had, risked his life for her. He lifted her chin and kissed her on the lips. Despite her difficult life that he saved her from, she was his "pure, innocent" angel, his savior from the world. Its a pity he can't be saved. Looking into her eyes, he could see his future, everything he had ever wanted or dreamed of. He knew what he should do to set everything right.

But he couldn't.

One last thought crossed his mind.

No matter what it took, he would never let her fall back into that life of lies and deceit. He never wanted to watch her walking through the red light district again.
He was determined.

She would never find out.

He finally drifted off to sleep to the sound of the rhythmic dripping from their new ice box.
She glanced back up at his tired, but calm face.Gently, she sweeped the deep chocolate fringe of hair out of his eyes and caressed his cheek with the back of her hand, tracing past his jawline and lips with her fingertips.
"I know." She whispered sadly.
She rested her head on his chest and tried to ignore the feeling of her heart breaking that they had fallen back in to the clutches of the life they hated and tried so hard to leave behind, praying he hadn't seen her in the dance hall earlier that night.

1920's slang:
*Behind the eight ball: in a tight spot, a difficult situation.
*Daylight, as in "fill him with daylight": Put a hole in, by shooting or stabbing

He at least managed to cover his frantic fear and worries.

She would never find out . . .

**nominated for a writing award

sorry its been so long

surreptitiouspanic — 2008-01-29T14:03:00Z

hey there, i havent been onher much but i figured i would do a quick post for my old die hard friends/fans of JC (if you dont know what that is, youre not 1 of them) and a post for new friends alike.

6 degrees of separation from:

Heath Ledger...

my mom(1) was an extra in Armogedon(2) that stared ben afleck(3) whos brother casey was in oceans 11(4) with matt damon who was in the brothers grimm (5) with heath.

I was in the musical kiss me, kate (1) which was based on the taming of the shrew by shakespeare (2) which was the basis for the movie 10 things i hate about you (3) that stared heath.

you can share your own or yuo could try to connect other actors to him.

(i would do my separation from some bands, but i dont want ppl to get mad at me, so ill shut up.)

wah ha ha, jokes on you, that never really happened...

surreptitiouspanic — 2007-09-23T10:52:00Z

but i'll tell you what really is gonna happen. me interviewing panic! at the disco!! yeah, no lie! well, the date isnt set yet, but i do have my questions and ive talked to their publicist, shes really nice. im so grateful to have such a cool editor at the paper who has my official title include "celebrity interviewer" and my amazing cousin that workes in north hollywood in casting (4 reality shows) and her friend that works at ABC for helping me out and just being awesome (she recontacted teh publicist to see why she was taking so long to get back to me, granted i did pick a crappy time to email her (aug 29th, yeah, day b4 ryro's bday, 4 days b4 spencer's bday, the start of a 3 day wknd, a week b4 the vma's and jon's bday...u get the picture)

ps, happy belated bdays to my 3 fave virgos other than myself!! (poor brendon's an aries)

JC updates

surreptitiouspanic — 2007-08-26T10:33:00Z

ive been typing up teh latest chapter, but Word decided to be really lame and not work today, so i dont know how long it'll be b4 i get the nxt chapter up. ps, im so close to finishing the sequil...and youre gonna hate me for the endings of both books. sorry. things gets better tho...

and remember, nothing is final... that will make sence in teh far future, (teh end of teh 2nd book)

JESTERS COURT MISCONSEPTIONS

surreptitiouspanic — 2007-08-20T17:27:00Z

although it may be "obvious" who the ringmaster is, it is only inspired by brendon and the sins videoit isnt really him, which i clearly stated in my intorduction. thius is also why i wanted help in renaming his character. i only used "
brendon" when writing it because i didnt have a better name at the time. in fact, that is why you dont lear his name for so long. i didnt even know any of their names when i started. the use of the name "ryan" in the begining is 100% coincidental, and the fact that this one was an english major and ryro was a creative writing major was an irony. i didnt even know what he studied until a month ago or so, i started writing this march 2006. anyone not familiar with teh video or the fact that i like the band would never make the connection. this is precisly the reason that i was unsure about posting my story. it is NOT a fanfic, and i would have no problem if any of the members from the band read it...unlike some of teh fanfics ive read, including teh "slash" fanfics they were reported to have written a song about. and the song wasnt very nice either.

hopefull this will clear somethings up.

thanks for reading, and hopefull there will be another chapter up soon, sorry for the wait.

8 things about me

surreptitiouspanic — 2007-08-12T17:22:00Z

tag im it, laurenxatxthexdisco got me, so now ive got to do this too.

well, i think it has to be things few know about me, but youguys know little or nothing, soo... here goes.

every break (you know winter/spring/summer) from school, i discover a new band or show that i love for ever! (my dicoveries since 9th grade...lostprophets, the bravery, panic! at the disco, scrubs...)

i performed girl anacronism by the dresden dolls in 9th grade in front of most of the school w/ 2 friends, and we got booed and had really low scores. after i walked off stage (teh gym floor) teh next month ppl i didnt know came up to me saying how great i was.

i have interviewed dream rockwell (teh founder) and erin "dusty" maxick (the one that gave brendon a lap dance on stage) from lucent dossier vaudville cirque, they were soo sweet!

i am an uber starwars geek

i love to write songs

i write stories

im a senior

i want to do public relations/be a publisist

(ill tag you later

The Jester's Court (chapter 3)

surreptitiouspanic — 2007-08-01T11:43:00Z

“My father and his best friend, Blaine, started the troupe back in 1898. Yes, you heard me. This will go so much faster if you just believe me. I was born into the circus life, my father the ringmaster before me and my mother an aerialist. Somehow a curse was placed on the troupe the last time we came to this city. Both my parents died and the troupe proclaimed me the new ringmaster. I have been the ringmaster, and 19 years old for around 85 years, but who’s counting. All we know about the curse is that we can never leave the confines of the gate unless it’s a life or death situation, but we really don’t want to try to find out how true that is. That’s why no one chased after your sister. We only have a vague idea of how to break the curse, but we’re so used to this life that most of us don’t want it to change. Not to mention that we have no idea of what will happen once we break the curse.”

Melinda could sense that there was something that he was leaving out, but didn’t want to question him about it.

“I must be boring you and this really is a lot to comprehend in a short time, so I’ll stop here. Please, spent the night, I’ll show you around in the morning. Then you can decide on how long you would like to visit.”

“Really, I’d love to stay, but I cant, I have to find Lexi and go home, and--”

“Its okay, you can stay as long as you like. For visitors, time in their world seems to stop when they’re in ours. Another side effect of the curse.”

“Well, I guess I could—“

“Great, follow me.” He got up and brought her over to a tent next to one slightly larger.

“This is my tent here,” he said pointing to the larger one, “so you’ll know where I am if you need anything.” He opened the tent flaps for her and bid her goodnight.

The tent was decorated beautifully with satin scarves flowing from one side or the top of the tent to the other. There were upside-down umbrellas poking through the satin scarf ceiling. Melinda found the concept of falling asleep in a strange place where she didn’t trust, let alone know anyone a difficult idea to grasp. Eventually the bustling crowd’s laughter and cheering melted in with the soothing continuous French circus music that greeted both her and her sister in their times of need. The Ringmaster’s voice cut through the noise like a dagger, but was so pure and gentle that it made her fell safe somehow and it lulled her to sleep.

~~**~~

“Come on, wake up! We’ve got to get moving.” The Ringmaster gently shook her shoulder. When Melinda opened her eyes, she found him kneeling beside the bed with his face only inches away from hers.

“Go where?”

“Well, I did say that I would show you around, but I have a bit of a detour planned. I’m going to show you the place where we go during the days. Come on, get dressed. Oh, right you don’t have any clothes…” his voice trailed off as he searched around the room. He spotted a cupboard and opened it. When he saw it was empty, he shut the doors and tapped his hand on the top.

“Well, I hope you enjoy these. I’ll be outside.”

Melinda had no idea what he was talking about, but went over to the cupboard and opened the doors. To her astonishment, there was an outfit inside. She slipped on the black skirt, which had an angled hem, and it floated around her legs as if it was made of silk and wind. The gypsy blouse had thick red and black slanted stripes matching the slant of the skirt. She walked out side and saw The Ringmaster talking with a few performers. He felt her behind him, but when he turned to look, he had to do a double take.

“Wow, you look great.”

“How did you do that?” Melinda tried not to smile at his compliment.

“Don’t you believe in magic?” He said with a slight grin.

“I guess so, but I never really thought about it, at least not since I was younger.”

“Well, we’ll just have to fix that now wont we.” His smile filled his whole face and he flashed perfect white teeth at Melinda. It wasn’t a cheesy smile either; she felt his warmth and kindness shining at her.

“Let’s go catch up to the others.” He gently took her hand and led her over to a tent not much larger than the one she spent the night in. There was a long winding line of performers heading into the tent.

“I know what you’re thinking, how is it possible. You’ll see once we get inside.”

“Don’t you mean if?”

Melinda saw Lexi and the performer she was with the night before go into the tent hand in hand. The Ringmaster and Melinda finally got into the tent. There was a shimmering door way in the center that everyone was walking through, but they didn’t come out the other side.

“Shall we?” The Ringmaster asked, extending his arm for Melinda to link her’s through.

“I don’t know, let’s try.” she said uneasily.